Well, not literally kill him. But my friend Jonathan Hayes does indeed need some help. He’s been playing a new video game, and recently wrote this intriguing post about it, on the Echo BBS:

A kind of unsettling experience just now playing SPLINTER CELL with my non-stealth approach to the game, I wasted all of the enemies in a current level, at the same time expending all of my ammunition. Now I wander the level alone, looking for someone to kill me so that I can go back and do it right. And yet: the streets are empty, there’s no movement save the occasional flap of flags, no sound except for the crackle of the radios of the men I killed. I cannot kill myself, for there’s nothing high enough to jump off. It’s really filling me with dread.

You know, you gotta hand it to today’s video games: They hand us some of the weirdest existential experiences imaginable.